Treat Guns Like Cars?

The gun control lobby has extensively described how they'd like gun owners to be treated just like car owners. Okay, fine. But let's carry that analogy along to its logical conclusion, and let's really treat car and gun owners alike:

• Require car owners to show good cause why they should be licensed and allowed to own/operate a motor vehicle. The mere need to transport yourself and/or your family to/from your place of employment, school or shopping isn't sufficient since all those transportation needs can be met by relying on public transportation and/or professional transportation services (aka taxis).
• Let's put a 1000% tax on the gasoline that turns those cars and trucks into killing machines, so we can pay for all the indigent victims of reckless/inept drivers.
• Let's limit car owners to purchasing one car a year -- after all, why would any responsible car owner need more than one? (If your car is wrecked or is stolen, you can ask the local DMV for special dispensation to buy another one).
• Let's eliminate sales of high powered cars designed solely to break the speed limit. No V-8's, not overdrive transmissions, no cars with "spoilers" on the back, or mag wheels, or radar detectors, or which can be adapted to have speedometers reading over 55 MPH.
• Let's eliminate the sale of cheap, poorly made, poorly maintained cars (aka "junkers or saturday night special vehicles"). We all know that they're more dangerous to use than brand new, well manufactured and fuel efficient cars, and if the poor can't afford any transportation as a result, well, they can always use public transportation.
• Let's require prospective car owners to prove that they have a high security garage, with an alarm system, where they can keep their car safe from those who might steal it.
• Let's require a fifteen day waiting period between the time you pick out a car and pay for it, and the time you can go to pick it up.
• Let's ban off road tires, high rise kits, four wheel drive vehicles and other vehicles intended for off-roadway use. Don't you know how many miles of wilderness are ruined by irresponsible use of such vehicles?
• Require that a prospective car owner be at least twenty one years old. We couldn't possibly trust someone younger with such a powerful killing machine!
• Let's ban car shows, just as the gun control lobby would like to ban gun shows.
• Require all car owners/drivers to provide helmets for all drivers/passengers. "If it saves just one life..."
• Require all people who own more than two cars, one gas can of spare fuel, or one case of motor oil to be licensed as a "parking lot operator/fuel and oil depot."
• Prohibit out of state car sales. Can you BELIEVE that we permit people to sell cars to people in any state? I mean after all -- why would anyone from Washington State want to buy a car in Oregon or Idaho?
• Prohibit sales of cars by private parties. Only dealers should be allowed to sell new or used cars to individuals -- after all, that way we could make sure that no minors, uninsured motorists, or unlicensed motorists can get the deadly tools of their trade.